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  • Right Now Someone Thinks You’re Delicious

    Right now someone thinks you’re delicious   They want to tamper with your spice rack Shampoo your dirty kitchen They want to fold the pages of your cookbook And taste your roasted chicken   They want to melt your stick of butter And put it on their popcorn They want to be the chocolate sprinkles […]

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  • There is a brainstorm coming

    There is a brainstorm coming Many will be unprotected Expect a number of horrific deaths Focus will be removed Bikini lines waxed with Xerox Photocopier fluid The pressure is on The price of stamps is out of control Ronald McDonald house has been foreclosed Taken over by a squatter Grimace is surly and living up […]

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  • Samovars and Merkins

    It’s that time of year where we need to get a little biblical and pass down some wisdom.  Here’s my contribution.

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  • You are the magic people

    I performed a version of this at the Ocean and Crow launch/grand re-opening on Saturday night and so I thought I would post this psychedelic version for you.  And an interesting side note about this poem…a band in New England called The Magic People somehow came across my poem and asked if they could use […]

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  • Don’t Get Drunk and Sleep With Your Friends (with “lyrics”)

    The so called holidays are here, people are going to lots of parties including plenty of work soirees and sometimes things go a little too far.  Take care of yourself this time of the year.  And if you do get drunk and sleep with a friend make sure it’s consensual…FOR REAL. Here is the only […]

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  • Heaven or Whatever

    A couple months ago for a couple of days, I had the chance to be in this new video for Shane Koyczan.  It was a fun time with lots of laughs and it was good to hang out with Shane for a couple days.  A couple youth slam poets are in it as well, Andrew […]

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  • Baby Jesus Visa

    Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Buy Nothing Day, CHRISTMAS.  The best way to handle the pressure and the inevitable debt?  Get yourself a Baby Jesus Visa  

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  • Monkey Pudding Luv

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  • What is this dead tongue on the floor?

    What is this dead tongue On the floor This jaw hearse This diesel ventriloquist This self-immolating inhaler This Helen Keller phone sex This Dillinger wind crime This suffocated witness This muted cadaver This Salvador Dalmation This censored auctioneer This colonized prayer This murdered fireside chat Roosevelt in the wilderness Walden Pond scum This gentrified tower […]

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  • 50 is the new ranch dressing

    I wrote this for my good friend, Bob Addison on his 50th birthday 50 is the new ranch dressing Is the new beef Toledo Is the new Communist Manifesto Is the new U2 album Is the new Irish hate Is the new ESL player piano Is the new muscle flexing ingredient Being used to invade […]

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