Right Now Someone Thinks You’re Delicious

Right now someone thinks you’re delicious


They want to tamper with your spice rack

Shampoo your dirty kitchen

They want to fold the pages of your cookbook

And taste your roasted chicken


They want to melt your stick of butter

And put it on their popcorn

They want to be the chocolate sprinkles

On the cake that you adorn
Even when you are covered in flour

And batter and grease and an egg yolk

Even when your apron is tattered

And you feel as unwanted as New Coke


Don’t worry

Right now someone thinks you’re delicious


A chef you never expected

A cook you never knew existed

A culinarian from a kitchen

Whose menu you’ve resisted


So let them sniff inside your pantry

And love your picnic basket

Let them open your preserves

And put your sorrow in a casket


They hunger for your recipe

They’re as defenseless as Trevor Berbick*

They’re in love with your ingredients

And best of all they’re not allergic


Right now someone thinks you’re delicious